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A Brief On Sexuality

fred

So I have this super cool friend who I've known for about a decade or so. She's smart, super creative, funny, extremely personable, just a wonderful person. Recently, she posted a picture of herself in lingerie. She looks confident, happy, beautiful. I talked to her a little bit about it online, and to me, there is a huge amount of symbolism around what she did. I really feel like she flipped the script when it comes to our views on sexuality, and what we should or shouldn't post online. Americans live in this very sexually oppressed culture. We live in a society of people who would rather let their children watch people get hacked to bits in a movie, tv show, or video game, than show two people being intimate, or possibly showing a woman's breast, or dare I say it, the male or female genitalia. We feel that violence is natural, whereas sex and sexuality are alien, something to hide behind closed doors, something to admonish. It absolutely blows my mind. How is it that killing each other is okay, but loving each other is not? (I know there are answers to this, many of which exist due to religion, which I will not get into).

What my super cool friend did made me smile. She eschewed the disgusting dichotomy of our societal norms, and she posted a beautifully photographed, intimate view of herself. In an instant, she made herself extremely vulnerable, while at the same time empowering herself. That is an amazing thing.

We live in a world where we are only as private as our privacy settings on our social media sites are, or if we are famous, then we have idiots who hack technology to spread nude pictures that should have never been public in the first place. Privacy aside (which was definitely violated), why should any of this be such a big deal? We are humans. Whether we are male, female, or transgendered, we are all more or less built up of the same parts. Our society likes to use the word "scandal" a lot, when describing someone who's revealing photos get leaked online. Why? It's a scandal because we have bodies? It's a scandal because bodies can be attractive to us? It feels like society is stuck in sex education in 5th grade, and the teacher just said "penis" or "vagina". It's maddening!

At the end of the day, our sexuality, and being body positive is a good thing. I'm sick of hearing, both online and in the physical world about lewdness, or about how bad sex is. I would much rather have my child (when it is age appropriate) choose to watch a movie where two people love each other, and show that love to each through intimacy (we're not talking about straight up porn here), than watch some movie that celebrates violence and gore. It's sad because I think I'm in the minority here. Why are we so afraid to love each other, instead of the norm which is hatred, or (which I tend to think is worse), total indifference to everyone around us? I don't understand.

I'd like to say thank you to my super cool friend. You shared a very personal side of yourself, and felt that you could trust your friends and loved ones to do that. I applaud you for that. I applaud you for loving yourself enough to do that. I applaud you for going against our societal norms, and being a better person for it.

This is part of that photo of my friend. I think this is more than enough to share.